A Counsellor's Guide to Surviving the Festive Season
The Joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing each other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.
— W. C. Jones
The holiday season often comes wrapped in the glittery paper of joy, family gatherings, and festive cheer—or at least, that’s what we typically envision. Yet, for many, this time of year is anything but merry. Crisis support lines typically see a surge in calls over Christmas and New Year, and divorce lawyers report that January is one of their busiest months.
If this resonates with you, please know you’re not alone. The holidays can be tricky for so many reasons. Let’s explore some common challenges and practical ways to make the season more manageable.
When Expectations Don’t Match Reality
We’re often sold an idealised vision of the holidays—smiling families, perfectly behaved children, abundant feasts, and magical moments. The reality, however, often falls short. And when there’s a gap between expectation and reality, disappointment can creep in. The good news? Lowering your expectations doesn’t mean losing the magic of the season. It means embracing the imperfections and making room for genuine moments of joy, even when things don’t go as planned.
Here’s how to adjust expectations using common examples:
Expectation: “The kids will behave like angels.”
Reality: The holidays can be overwhelming for children. They might be overstimulated, out of routine, or riding a sugar high. Accepting this and calmly reinforcing boundaries can save a lot of frustration.
Expectation: “Everyone will get along.”
Reality: Family dynamics don’t magically change for Christmas. Pausing before responding to tense moments can help maintain your peace.
Expectation: “New Year’s Eve will be the most amazing night of the year.”
Reality: It might rain, someone might overdo it with the champagne, or plans might fall through. Focusing on the people you’re with and the memories you’re making, however imperfect, can make it special.
Coping with Loneliness
Holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness, especially if you’re grieving a loss, navigating a family change, or simply spending the season away from loved ones. It’s okay to feel this way, and acknowledging your emotions is a powerful first step.
Here are a few strategies to ease loneliness:
Make a Plan: Even a loose plan can help you feel more in control. Whether it’s tackling a home project, planning a solo trip, or scheduling downtime, having something to look forward to can ease feeling lonely this Christmas.
Reach Out: Sharing how you’re feeling with someone you trust can be surprisingly freeing. Others might also be struggling, and you could find comfort in mutual support.
Treat Yourself: Even a small treat—a favourite meal, a brisk walk, or a cosy day in with a good book—can nurture your soul.
Remember, this season will pass, and life will return to its usual rhythm soon. If loneliness feels like a constant companion, consider reaching out for professional support—it’s a brave and empowering step toward change.
Managing Financial Pressure
Celebrating Christmas and New Years often comes with hefty price tags, especially in today’s tough economic climate. Here’s how to approach the season without breaking the bank:
Set a Budget: Agree on a spending limit for gifts with family early on. Transparency can save everyone from overspending.
Share the Load: If you’re hosting, don’t hesitate to ask guests to contribute food or drinks. If you’re a guest, ask what the host genuinely needs—sometimes it’s as simple as a bag of ice or dinner rolls.
Manage Kids’ Expectations: With older kids, talk about the realities of advertising and consumption. For younger children, encourage them to prioritise their wish lists and wrap useful items creatively—kids love unwrapping, even if it’s socks!
Navigating Alcohol and Substance Use
The holidays often come with heightened pressure to drink or indulge, which can be challenging if you’re newly sober or aiming to cut back. Here are some tips to stay on track:
Volunteer as the Driver: This gives you a great reason to say no to drinks and is often appreciated by others.
Know Your Limits: If you’re cutting back but not completely abstaining, decide ahead of time what you’re comfortable with and stick to it.
Explore Alternatives: Non-alcoholic drinks or mocktails are more accessible than ever and can make social settings easier to navigate.
If you’re struggling with alcohol or substance use, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength. Therapy with a Mental Health Professional can provide tools to help you regain control.
Five Steps to Stay Grounded During the Holidays
Prioritise Self-Care: Take time for activities that recharge you; whether it’s exercise, meditation, or simply enjoying a quiet moment to yourself.
Reach Out for Support: Connecting with loved ones or support networks can make a world of difference.
Set Realistic Expectations: Embrace the imperfect beauty of the season instead of striving for an unattainable ideal.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment with simple practices like deep breathing or mindful walking.
Focus on Gratitude: Reflect on small joys daily. Gratitude can shift your perspective and brighten even the darkest days.
Key Takeaways
The holiday season can be a mix of joy and stress, but by adjusting your expectations, you can focus on what truly matters—cherishing real moments of connection rather than striving for perfection. It’s also important to acknowledge and validate your feelings, whether you’re overwhelmed, lonely, or stressed, giving yourself permission to process them without judgment. Taking practical steps, like budgeting, setting boundaries, or prioritising self-care, can make the season more manageable and enjoyable. And remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Christmas Closure Times
As we approach the festive season, please note our closure times over the Christmas and New Year period:
Closed: Monday 23rd December to Saturday 28th December (inclusive).
Open: Monday 30th December.
Closed: Tuesday 31st December and Wednesday 1st January for the New Year’s Day Public Holiday.
We will resume regular hours from Thursday 2nd January 2025.
If the holiday season feels overwhelming, know that you’re not alone. Professional support is always available, whether through a counsellor, crisis helpline, or community network. Remember, it’s okay to seek help—you deserve to feel supported, not just during the holidays but all year-round.
Support Services During the Holidays
Lifeline (13 11 14): Free, confidential 24/7 crisis support service.
Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): Information and support for mental health and wellbeing.
MensLine Australia (1300 78 99 78): Free, confidential 24/7 counselling for Australian men.
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732): Free, confidential 24/7 support for those who have experienced, or are at risk of experiencing, sexual assault and/or domestic and family violence.
FriendLine (1800 424 287): Supports anyone who's feeling lonely or just wants a chat. Note: This is NOT a crisis service.
Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800): Free, confidential 24/7 counselling for children and young people aged 5 – 25.
headspace (1800 650 890): Free online and telephone counselling for young people aged 12 – 25.
Let’s Stay Connected
The holiday season can bring unique challenges, but you don’t have to face them alone. If you found this post helpful, why not join our blog community? By subscribing, you’ll receive:
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Together, we can build a space of compassion, understanding, and growth. Let’s navigate the ups and downs of life with a little more ease—and a lot more kindness.
Take the first step today toward a healthier, happier you. 💛
