Lessons in Resilience: Overcoming Challenges as a New Mum
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”
— Linda Wooten
The start of a new year often brings us to reflect on our lives—our triumphs, challenges, and the lessons learned along the way. As Rick and Forrest Hanson highlight in Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness, resilience is not about avoiding adversity but about thriving in the face of it.
This message deeply resonates with me, particularly as I reflect on my experience as a new mum. Motherhood, while beautiful and fulfilling, tested every fibre of my being. Through postnatal depression, health challenges, and navigating pregnancy and early motherhood during the COVID-19 pandemic, I learned what resilience truly means—and it didn’t look like perfection.
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1. Expectations Versus Reality
I had always felt a natural calling to be a mum. Deep down, I just knew it was part of my purpose. I envisioned a seamless journey, filled with joy and fulfilment.
But when I fell pregnant during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, the reality was far from what I had imagined. The restrictions meant I couldn’t see loved ones in person. I felt isolated, anxious, and overwhelmed. This was compounded by a series of health challenges: I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and hypothyroidism, which required daily insulin injections and constant medical appointments, which I had to attend alone. This left me feeling sluggish and emotionally drained.
By the time my daughter was born, I was diagnosed with postnatal depression. Dealing with chronic fatigue, aching pains, and unable to breastfeed, I began to doubt my abilities as a mother, convinced that I wasn’t good enough for my perfect little girl. I felt like I was failing—not just myself but her too.
See below photos that were taken in the weeks following the birth of my first child:
2. What Resilience Truly Means
Through this journey, I realised that resilience isn’t about having everything under control. It’s about finding strength in the midst of chaos and learning to thrive despite the challenges.
One of the key lessons I’ve embraced is that resilience grows through self-compassion. When I began to treat myself with kindness, as I would my daughter, my perspective started to shift. Instead of focusing on my shortcomings, I reminded myself that I was doing my best—and that was enough. Slowly, but surely, this became easier to accept over time.
I started imagining my daughter as my little cheerleader, encouraging me to show up as the best version of myself while also accepting my imperfections. This shift in perspective brought comfort and clarity during some of my darkest moments.
3. Embracing Support and Positive Practices
In their book, the Hansons highlight the importance of building inner strength through supportive connections and positive experiences. For me, this meant recognising when I needed help and seeking it out.
Because of the COVID restrictions limiting in-person services at the time, I reached out to counselling services via phone, which provided me with a safe space to process my negative thoughts and feelings. The free parenting line also helped ease my concerns about various health-related issues, including the safety of vaccinations during pregnancy. These resources reassured me that I wasn’t truly alone, even when I felt isolated.
I also leaned into activities that brought me joy. Journaling helped me process my thoughts, while spending time in nature—whether at the park or the beach—reminded me of life’s beauty. Cooking my favourite meals, listening to motivational music, and attending Mass a few times a week were simple but powerful acts of self-care that nurtured my soul.
In addition, hiring a doula eased my workload and gave me space to focus on my mental health. With her support and encouragement, I was able to focus on nurturing my baby while my doula took care of the rest.
4. Letting Go of Perfection
As a new mum, I felt immense pressure to be “perfect.” I believed my daughter deserved nothing less. This belief, while rooted in love, became a burden. I felt I had to be flawless—to always know the right thing to do, to never falter. But through my Christian faith, I learned to embrace the powerful message of "Come As You Are" as sung in the famous Catholic hymn.
This phrase echoed in my heart during moments of doubt. It reminded me that God's love doesn’t demand perfection. Instead, He calls us to bring our whole selves—flaws, fears, and all—and trust in His grace as an open invitation for all. I realised that just as I would never demand perfection from my daughter, neither does God expect it from me as her mum.
Releasing those unrealistic expectations was transformational. It freed me to embrace the mum I was: one who showed up, loved unconditionally, and anchored myself on the Grace of God even when things felt overwhelming.
5. Advice for Others Facing Challenges
If you’re navigating your own struggles, whether as a parent or in another season of life, here’s what I’ve discovered:
Speak to yourself with kindness, as you would to someone you love.
Prioritise your wellbeing so you can show up at your best.
Seek help when you need it—whether from a trusted friend, your partner, or a therapist.
And if you have faith, lean into it. Trust in God’s providence and His great plan for you and your family.
6. Helpful Resources for Mums
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, know that help is available:
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): Call 1300 726 306 for support with perinatal and postnatal struggles.
Available Monday-Friday, 9 am-7.30 pm (AEST/AEDT); Saturday and public holidays, 9 am-4 pm (AEST/AEDT)
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby: Supporting parents on the journey from pregnancy to preschool.
Available 7 days, 7 am-midnight (AEST/AEDT)
Parent Helplines: Guidance and support for parents. Click here for helplines in your area (Australian residents only).
Beyond Blue: Call 1300 22 4636 for 24/7 mental health support.
Raising Children Network: A comprehensive resource for parenting tips and support.
The book referred in this post is available in most bookstores, libraries, and here:
If my story resonates with you and you’re navigating similar challenges, I encourage you to take that first step toward support. Speak to someone you trust, reach out to a counsellor, or explore the resources above.
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! To show my appreciation, I would love to gift you with some Printable Affirmation Cards made specifically for mothers! Click here to download them for FREE (opens in a new window) >>
You are not alone in this journey, and there’s strength in seeking help. Together, we can become more resilient and thrive through life’s challenges.
