So, You Got Ghosted... Now What? How to Handle Rejection
Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.
– Steve Maraboli
Rejection hurts. Whether it’s someone you were dating that suddenly left you on read, an employer never getting back to you after a promising job interview, or a friend slowly pulling away without explanation—it stings. It can leave you feeling confused, unworthy, and questioning what went wrong.
If you’re struggling with being ghosted or rejected, know this: your worth isn’t determined by someone else’s inability to communicate or recognise your value. Let’s talk about how to process these feelings, regain your confidence, and move forward in a healthy way.
Why Does Rejection Hurt So Much?
Rejection triggers a primal response in us. As humans, we’re wired for connection, and being excluded or ignored can activate the same brain regions associated with physical pain. It’s normal to feel upset, worried, or even angry when someone you connected with vanishes without notice or when an opportunity you were excited about falls through.
But while rejection feels personal, it often isn’t. People ghost or reject others for a variety of reasons—many of which have little to do with you and everything to do with them.
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings (Without Blaming Yourself)
It’s okay to feel hurt, frustrated, or even humiliated after being ghosted or rejected. Also, suppressing your emotions or pretending you don’t care won’t make them disappear. Instead, acknowledge how you feel:
“This hurts, and that’s okay.”
“I feel disappointed, and I have a right to process that.”
“This doesn’t define me, even though it hurts right now.”
Avoid blaming yourself for what happened. Thoughts like “I must not be good enough” or “I must have done something wrong” can spiral into unnecessary self-criticism. Instead, remind yourself that rejection is often about circumstances, timing, or the other person’s limitations—not about your worth.
Step 2: Challenge Negative Thoughts
When faced with rejection, our inner critic tends to get loud. You might start drawing conclusions like:
“I’ll probably end up being alone/single.”
“I must have failed that interview terribly.”
“I’m not good enough, attractive enough, smart enough…”
Pause and ask yourself:
Is this thought 100% true?
What evidence supports or contradicts it?
How would I talk to a friend who was feeling this way? What advice would I give them?
Reframing your perspective can help. For example:
Instead of “I’ll never find someone,” try “This person wasn’t the right fit for me, but that doesn’t mean no one will be.”
Instead of “I must have failed,” try “I gave it my best effort. If this wasn’t the right opportunity, something better will come along.”
Step 3: Resist the Urge to Seek Closure from Others
One of the hardest parts of ghosting or rejection is the lack of closure. You may be tempted to send one last message for an explanation or overanalyse your last conversation for clues. But chasing after answers rarely brings relief—especially if the other person isn’t willing to communicate.
Instead, focus on giving yourself self-closure by accepting that you may never get the explanation you deserve. Closure isn’t something someone gives you—it’s something you create by deciding you don’t need their validation to move forward.
A helpful exercise:
Write yourself a compassionate letter as if you were speaking to a close friend in your situation. Acknowledge your hurt, remind yourself of your worth, and affirm that their silence does not define you.
Step 4: Reconnect with What Makes You Feel Secure and Confident
Rejection can shake our sense of self. A great way to rebuild confidence is by doing things that remind you of your strengths, values, and the people who appreciate you.
Reconnect with supportive friends or family who deserve your love and attention.
Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether that’s hiking, painting, cooking, or playing music.
Invest in self-growth, whether through therapy, journaling, or learning a new skill.
Practise self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone faces rejection at some point—it’s not a reflection of your worth, but a part of life’s journey.
Step 5: Shift Your Focus to What’s Next
Instead of dwelling on why something didn’t work out, shift your focus to what’s next for you.
In dating: Instead of overthinking what went wrong, remind yourself that you’re seeking someone who values communication, emotional maturity, and consistency—qualities that ghosting clearly lacks.
In job searches: Instead of fixating on one lost opportunity, use the experience as a learning tool. Can you refine your interview skills? Strengthen your resume? The right fit is still out there.
In friendships: If a friend has distanced themselves from you, focus on nurturing relationships that feel reciprocal and fulfilling rather than chasing after one that drains you.
Remember: Every rejection is redirection. What didn’t work out was never meant for you, and something better is on its way.
Final Thoughts
Being ghosted or rejected is painful, but it doesn’t define you. The way you respond to these moments—choosing self-compassion over self-blame, resilience over rumination—can shape your confidence and well-being moving forward.
Healing takes time, but every step you take towards self-care and self-acceptance brings you closer to the opportunities and connections that truly align with you.
You are enough. You are worthy. And you will be okay.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, or feelings of unworthiness after a rejection, counselling can help you process these emotions and rebuild your confidence. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Would you like support? Book a free 15-minute call with me at www.enduecounsellingservices.com/lets-connect to chat about how I can help.
